Everyone has their own opinions and feelings about themselves; we often think about who we are, who we want to become, how others see us, and how we want others to see us. But have you ever thought about the objects that contribute to this? The unique objects that you own that contribute to your self concept? Objects like those contribute to something called the 'extended self.'
The extended self is defined by the book as the self plus possessions. People like to define themselves partly by the possessions that they own, whether this item is an engagement ring, a special book given by a dear friend, or even a pet that offers feelings of comfort and engagement.
Take for example the silver ring I have on my right ring finger. It's kind of like a fidget toy, as you can spin the center part of the ring, something I often do with my thumb. Someone may see this ring and think of it as a fashion statement or something that I just decided to wear for no real reason. In actuality, this was one of the first presents that my boyfriend gave me when we started dating. He had been on vacation with a friend for a while and came back with this ring. He didn't have a single clue what my finger size was and guessed based on the fact that it fit around the tip of his pinky finger.
When I realized that he had been thinking of me even when he was out of the country with his best friend, I was so happy and knew that he really cared for me. Whenever I wear that ring, I feel connected to him and comforted by the ring. It really means a lot to me and makes up what I think about myself in terms of my relationship to him.
Try it yourself! Examine the items in your life that make up who you are, paying special mind to where you've gotten them, who might have given them to you, and the reasons behind why you still have them. It really makes you appreciate the little things in life a lot more.
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